for "drew barrymore", today's deep thought: why does the hamburger helper only have four fingers? =P posted by testimonies 3:31 PM Add a comment . . .
OH my gosh! how completely depressing! i TOTALLY didn't know that i'd lost everything from before i switched over to this template. ugh, SUCKS =( posted by testimonies 12:16 PM Add a comment . . .
i'm soaked in martha agerich's electrifying rendition of the rach III and the selfish part of me cannot fully focus on all that's going on. it's because i'm focused on me, and i feel wistful. with her every singing note, her every impassioned cascade, i feel the pressure of the ivory against my fingers, cool and responsive as the keys sink in, singing out my story, expressing my feelings. and a sadness sinks in, because it's not true. in reality i'm in my cube at work, and my fingers are now clumsy from two years of non-practice. what's more, as i'm feeling all this, i'm typing on a plastic ergonomic keyboard. blah. i miss being on stage, auditorium blackened, the soft light of the spotlight. i miss the feeling of the excitement as the keys fully respond to my every whim, as i barely breathe for fear of ruining it all. i miss playing with the orchestra behind me, and the exuberance of the implicit call and response, and the resulting euphony of a perfect synergy. and most of all i miss my solace, as i focus on bach, beethoven, chopin... who always understand. posted by testimonies 11:27 AM Add a comment . . .
blah. blahblahblahblahblah. BLAH. =) posted by testimonies 9:27 AM Add a comment . . .
on the cable car this morning i found sweetness. i step on at the second stop so there's usually a seat for me. not this morning though. so i stood and inwardly grumbled about carrying my bulging purse. there were two people sitting in front of me, a large heavyset woman, and a middle sized man. without even looking up, the man scooted over, and the woman followed suit and scrunched to the other side. the space was tiny. i contemplated just sticking my purse there, but then the woman smiled at me. had i choice? so i sat, gingerly on the edge of the seat. no, the woman said with a smile, lean back, room'll be made. so i scooted back and sat, sardine smooshed for the remainder of the ride, heartwarmed by this display of early morning kindness. life is all about these little moments =) posted by testimonies 9:23 AM Add a comment . . .
when i was waiting for my bud to drop by, my bed exuded an inexorable magnetism that i could not resist but for the name of friendship. she's leaving for la tomorrow, and the big apple after that- so sleepy or no, my attention was all hers. she just left, and i am free, but i cannot sleep. i believe a small dose of sleep equals about four shots of vodka- everything spills out. and tonight, she shared with me her story for the past two weeks. the pure, unadulterated version of it, brought on by a full day and only two hours of sleep from the previous night. and it's the way she is, the way she speaks that made me think; her thoughts broken down, simple, honest, yet pregnant with connotation, eerily reminiscent of my own in the wee hours of countless mornings long ago. and it struck a chord in me, a chord that hasn't been strung in a long while. so i'm sitting here with sadness, trying not to listen to this music of remembrance that may bring on regrets that have long been buried posted by testimonies 1:52 AM Add a comment . . .
1. LIVING ARRANGEMENT: me and four other broads (well currently three) 2. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING NOW: books? what are those? bible. ulysses. 3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME: i don't do board games 4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE: Vogue, The New Yorker 5. FAVORITE SMELL: light and airy 6. LEAST FAVORITE SMELL: stagnant water 7. FAVORITE SOUND: trance dance 8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: despondancy 9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING: i think i'm going to set my alarm for 20 minutes later 10. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE: however long it takes me to check the id 11. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME: bismark and chloe 12. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE: relationships 13. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA: chocolate 14. DO YOU DRIVE FAST: depends whether i'm alone or not (when i'm with others i'm like a turtle) 15. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL: sometimes with winnie da pooh 16. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY: cool 17. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR: subaru loyale 18. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: i don't drink 19. YOUR ZODIAC SIGN: virgo 20. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI: yup 21. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE: wouldn't dye my hair 22. GLASS - HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL: a glass is a glass (right jimmy? =P) 23. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS: yes 24. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER: no favorite numbers for me 25. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH: soccer. basketball is too stressful 26. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED: carpet. my 'bed' consists of two mattresses on top of each other... 27. TOILET PAPER/PAPER TOWELS - OVER OR UNDER: over 29. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN IN LOVE? once 30. IF YOU COULD BE AN ANIMAL WHAT WOULD YOU BE? hippop...i mean a bird 31. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME? steiners, c-dawg, tina, chris, christina, xina, x., her highness... 32. WHAT WOULD BE YOUR IDEAL VACATION? a trip around the world posted by testimonies 2:55 PM Add a comment . . .
she's at the edge of a wintry precipice and dives in, only to swoop up soaring with a freedom that comes only from god. posted by testimonies 1:40 PM Add a comment . . .
excited. life is good =) posted by testimonies 11:54 AM Add a comment . . .
10:15 am: running down polk street in shoes i can barely walk in, trying to catch a bus to church 10:15 am 20 seconds: ignoring all the stares i'm garnering with my wobbly attempt to sprint 10:16 am: sadly watching as the mean bus driver drives away 10:25 am: on the van ness bus on my way to the n-judah. there's a girl with an incredible voice singing softly to herself behind me 11:15 am: sitting in the pews at scbc 11:20 am: calling lyd about the giants game 11:30 am: walking toward the muni again to go back to work so i can make the game 1:00 pm: sitting relaxed in the dark setting of my cube, lit by a hint of sunlight, my stomach warmed by strawberries and cream oatmeal. sarah vaughn's soothing 'misty' in the background. *contented sigh* will leave for the game in about 15 =) posted by testimonies 1:09 PM Add a comment . . .
