the night my grandmother died i had a dream. she was dead, but refused to go to hell. well, more accurately, she was petrified, desperate, and really didn't want to be there. she kept gripping me, so tightly, and i couldn't do anything but pray that god would do all he could to bring her to heaven with him. i don't remember how the dream ended. several times i woke up because she was gripping me so tightly it hurt. it was strange, because when i had initially recieved the news earlier that day i had been somewhat at peace with her passing: more specifically, i had felt loved. so the dream completely took me by surprise. i didn't know whether it signified something. but i was determined that i would put more of an effort to speak to my grandfather about the faith. so fast-forward a couple weeks later. i'm talking to my mom, who doesn't want to talk to him about christianity because he gets annoyed with her and it pushes him more away from the faith. but on the other hand, he has steeped himself in buddhism to deal with his grief. he doesn't watch tv, he doesn't go out, he hasn't even shaved since her death. he just sits at his desk, reading buddhist papers, writing essays. her christian friends say that he's too old, and to let him be, that god 'understands' and will make himself known if it is part of his plan. but i feel so weird about it. am i just to stand by, watching, and just trust? this is so annoying. posted by testimonies 9:15 PM Add a comment . . .
you know, upon deeper reflection, i don't know whether i would do the same thing as mr. bass, or those kajillionaires...like if i had $100 million and had already given like $40 million away, why not indulge myself with a $20 million opportunity to experience space? that would be so awesome... sigh too bad i'll probably never get to test out the senario... posted by testimonies 12:36 PM Add a comment . . .
conversations shooting across 123 mission, 19th floor: i. how my co-worker's going to st louis to meet up for the first time with her aol luhwer ii. how lance bass should use his $20 million to a. feed people in starving countries b. buy pakistan tons of crystal geyser so india and pakistan won't blow up the world should they go to war, etc rather than using it to orbit space. but then again, how could we live without such cnn headlines as '''N sync Singer Fit to be N'space", of course strategically placed next to the "US Warns of Massive Deaths if Nuke Launched" story/picture of a nuclear warhead. iii. i don't know, something, but it involves the voice of that woman who sounds like the slut character on 'just shoot me' geez, how's anyone supposed to get any work around here?!?!?!?! =) posted by testimonies 12:05 PM Add a comment . . .
happy birthday, woman =) posted by testimonies 2:49 PM Add a comment . . .
for all you bloggers out there, something interesting: http://slate.msn.com/?id=2066308 posted by testimonies 11:20 AM Add a comment . . .
